Study group: Youth Voices

To gather evidence for a United Nations review of the UK’s human rights compliance, ATD Fourth World is running a three-year series of study groups on poverty, social work and the right to family life. Five other sessions focused on risk, neglect, parent advocacy, disability and racism, and language and communication. ATD’s Youth Voices project submitted its first report to the UN in December 2022.

On 17 March 2023, the Youth Voices lead team—Aurelia Drayak, Kaydence Drayak and Tiegan Boyens—ran a study group session. The 24 participants included 12 experts-by-experience, 4 academics, and 8 practitioners or professionals. The young people discussed experiences of trauma related to children’s social care and also proposed solutions.

Discussing the damage being done by interactions with social workers, the main themes raised were:

  • the breakdown of trust
  • feeling constantly judged
  • dehumanisation and the devaluing of children in care
  • discrimination
  • language
  • and the long-term impact on children’s lives.

As for solutions, key proposals were for:

  • accountability and putting things in context
  • changing the role of social services
  • making it clear that poverty is not neglect, and offering to support, not separate
  • and empowering children.

These are some excerpts from the discussions.

Breakdown of trust

Children are expected to automatically trust professionals; however, when they feel this trust has been betrayed, it can erode their sense of trust in all adults.

“Young people are being betrayed by the adults they are made to trust.“

Two brothers were asked by social workers which adult they would prefer to live with, but their choice was not respected: “How is that acceptable? They don’t listen to children, even though they’re saying that they have the choice.“

“My opinion was never relevant. It was just decided for me.“

“It’s so easy for social workers or people who are reporting to local authorities or whoever to kind of say that they’re listening to children and young people. But then there’s just endless excuses of why that’s not practical, or ‘we can’t do that’.“

“The way we get treated affects us. Like I still can’t trust nearly anyone. I can trust to a level, but I can’t get beyond that level. And because of that, it affects my relationships, friendships, people, and they don’t get it. I don’t get it, because I just can’t get beyond it. And that is because of how social services treat us. […] They need to prove to me that they’re worth my time and they would do the right thing.“

Not one participant thought that they could trust social workers in general, although one added: “It’s not the social workers, it’s the system I don’t trust. They can be amazing social workers, but they still have to go behind by certain rules in the system.“

“With social workers, their hands are so tied that they end up doing negative things. They can’t help it. “

“I find social workers who go by the book to be very judgmental. if you have a goal in life, they kind of dampen that, because they try and lower your expectations of what you’re capable of doing because of statistics that they’ve learned in their course. “

“It’s almost like [social work] don’t have any choice to not let me down but to build it and then take it away. There is actually something quite soul destroying in that. “

Being betrayed by a professional you trusted can have consequences for self-esteem: “You don’t trust yourself any more either. Because you think ‘Well, I’m obviously not making good judgments’.”

Feeling constantly judged

In describing the intense professional scrutiny of one young person with her sister who is in care, the young person said: “I feel like I’m on trial half the time, that I’ve done something wrong. And I’m there like, I’m a 20-year-old, I don’t know what I can physically have done wrong. Like last summer, I lost two of my grandparents within a month so I felt slightly derailed, so I didn’t manage to write a letter to my sister.” She explained this at a meeting with social workers but was interrupted. “They just went, ‘So you haven’t written a letter?’ I was like, ‘I really couldn’t. I could barely get out of bed half the time.’ And like, ‘Well you could have still done it!’ And I was like ‘What do you want from me?’“

“It just does feel like a kind of constant scrutiny or you’re not good enough for doing very basic things or having a life.“

“I remember often with social workers, when I was a child, feeling like it was a game almost that I had to kind of figure out how to win. Like, I had to figure out what to say to make it stop, or make it go away, or please everyone.“

“We have to mould to a system. I get very angry about that, not just not just for myself, but for others.“

“It takes just a social worker to say, ‘this person, I don’t trust her’, and then that goes out of control.“

“We’re pushed to the point where you’ve got no choice but to be furious. And then you’re told off for being furious.“

“Legally, you are innocent until proven guilty. But the [family law] systems treat us as though you’re guilty, and we have to prove we’re innocent. And that feels way backwards to me.“

“It’s not just you have to prove yourself; you have to do it over and over.“

Dehumanisation and devaluing

“When I was 15, I was put into a hostel with fully grown men, I had to share a room with a heroin addicts. This is where I was meant to be studying for my GCSE. So I was forced into prostitution in the hostel and forced into drugs. It was a nightmare. While I was meant to be doing my GCSEs I was doing something that no child should be doing. But prior to that, I was getting high marks in school. So if I’d had the opportunity to be in a place where I could study and revise, I would have got my GCSEs and I probably would have been able to get to university. But because social services put me in a place that wasn’t suitable. I was denied that opportunity.“

“You’re treated like a possession or a problem instead of like a person.“

“Children are meant to have a right to an identity. But if you’re adopted, the government and your adoptive parents totally legally change that identity. They delete the previous identity.“

“I had one social worker come, and they were late and then they still expected me to see them.“

One mother described having an agency sent by family court to observe her parenting her children: “They would turn up at seven o’clock at night and be stood in my kids’ bedroom. They wouldn’t introduce themselves, because they are ‘not there’. They’re not allowed to have a drink or anything; they have to stand there and watch me. But of course, my kids can’t sleep when there’s a stranger in their room watching them trying to fall asleep! And then they say I can’t put the child to sleep. [It was the same] when I was bathing my child. They’re wondering why my child is acting up, but it was because there’s someone standing there watching me bathing my child. And then because I’m physically touching the skin, they say, ‘Oh, you need to teach them to wash themselves. You need to introduce a sponge.’ But my child is autistic! Introducing a sponge when they’re used to using their hands or my hands is not going to end well. And then we’re now soaking wet on the floor in a whole meltdown.“

“ None of this is ethical!“

Discrimination

“When you’re taken into care or adopted, it looks to me like there is this stain over you that stays for the rest of your life. Like, if they know that you’ve been into care, if you have children also, then they will be on your case. And that really baffles me and I find it so not right.“

“The thing with the system is that you’re always trying to prove yourself. From the moment you go into the care system, you’re automatically told that you’re not going to finish school, you’re not going to do your GCSE, you’re not going to get to university, you’re not going to succeed in life.“

“You’re told you won’t go anywhere in life.“

“You’re denied opportunities.“

“It’s like, why do you drive us apart? Just because we have different dads doesn’t mean we’re not siblings.“

“My foster mom was Nigerian and foster father from Trinidad and I was with them for about 10-11 years. And then I asked if they could adopt me. They wanted to adopt me, but because they were Black, and I was white, social services refused to let that happen. They said they didn’t want to lose my cultural identity. Then eventually, I was moved to an abusive foster family. So I ran away but I ended up at 15 being put into a men’s hostel. And things went worse from there. I was denied a loving home, a loving family based on race. The services don’t actually look at what’s good for the child. It’s just like ticking boxes. “

“When I was adopted, my mother was literally just told to ignore my heritage. So I’m Irish by heritage but basically the social services told my mum, ‘Just ignore that she’s Irish. She’s white so she’s English, she’s your heritage’. And my mum was like, ‘But surely we can teach her about this?’ And they were like, ‘Nope, she’s white. It doesn’t matter’.“

“My brother was born [with a] syndrome so he’s got one leg grown bigger than the other. He was automatically put by the doctors put on a Child Protection List due to a medical condition. Then social workers thought my parents were beating him. They were automatically like, ‘We’ve got to take him away.’ We had to fight and get more doctors’ opinions and other social workers involved. To change that opinion due to a medical condition was quite hard.“

“I was diagnosed with multiple mental health conditions, which weren’t true. Like, I had exactly the same person come out of retirement to redo that assessment when I went back to court to get my son back. And she actually openly admitted, I didn’t have any of those things, it was purely down to the situations I was in my life at the time. But that report cemented my child being removed in a courtroom.“

“They use [mental health diagnoses] as a weapon. They say they’re going to help you with it. But like with borderline personality disorder, they say all that you can’t treat that and they use it against you.“

“Poverty and struggling with money can have impacts on social services when you’re in those situations.“

“It looks like the whole system is against the poor. When you are poor you are more prone to have problems with social services compared to the wealthy “

“It’s like being poor is a crime. Why? Because when you’re poor, your children will look dirty, maybe because the washing machine is broken down, you can’t afford [to fix it]. Whereas the rich person doesn’t have that problem, and their kids and their house will always look clean. It doesn’t matter if they’re not even there. It doesn’t show love. “

“Exactly. They can afford for people to come clean the house, they can afford a new washing machine. And this thing makes me feel like [it’s] just superficial. Basically the poor are blamed.“

“And it hasn’t been seen as struggling for money. It’s been seen as neglecting. […] And if things are not tackled as soon as possible, then we end up with disaster and children being taken away.“

Language

“’Corporate parenting’ is one of the words that, as soon as you hear it, it makes you cringe. I hate it!“

“I looked up the definition of corporate and it is a large group or company. Basically, when you’re in care you’re run by a group or company. You’re their property.“

“A ‘corporate parent’ is a group of people. It’s not one single person. So that would be much more difficult to hold accountable. Because it’s not one specific person.“

“Labels are the most infuriating thing.“

The long-term impact on children’s lives

“If you have a goal in life, they kind of dampen that, because they try and lower your expectations of what you’re capable of doing.“

“That’s why I don’t want children, because I didn’t think feel that I was going to be capable of being a parent.“

“We have lower expectations of ourself.“

“If I was to meet [my birth family] now, I don’t think I could actually have a relationship with any of them. A lifetime has gone. How would we relate? It’s also dangerous. Like, I could bump into one of them, but I haven’t got a clue. All I know is their name. I don’t know what they look like, I don’t know anything. It’s happened that siblings have bumped into each other. And things have got— I just think it’s cruel, to be honest.“

“I did have a bit of jealousy growing up as well, because I was the first born. Then the other siblings: two were adopted together; three others went into care together; one of my siblings went to live with their [father]. So like, they had a relationship with at least one parent—whilst I’ve had absolutely nothing. So I actually have a bit of jealousy and enviousness towards them, which I shouldn’t have, because it’s not their fault.“

“Why was I the chosen one out of all three of us to be the one that had a good life?“

“I have to ask: Is the care system working? The answer is no. Because young people are more damaged going through that system.“

“People always think short term. It’s not just got the crisis now or just the child now. It’s like, where are we going to be 10-20 plus years?“

“We need to remember that this thing is not temporary. Whatever is done will affect that child. If it’s negative, then that is damage for a long time.“

“It’s a damaging system, a damaging process. Even if it was done in the best way possible, there’s still damage. [There should be] recognition of lifelong impacts. I have lifelong trauma. It’s made some of my disabilities worse, for example. It does make your life harder in one way or another. “

Key ideas and solutions

Accountability and putting things in context

“No one ends up being held accountable. And there’s no way that people end up learning from or improving afterwards. How might that stop?“

“If that was a parent or a carer putting a teenager in those bad positions, it would absolutely be weaponized as harm, abuse, exploitation. And the list goes on. However, for a corporate parent, there’s never any accountability with professionals, and I think it’s infuriating.“

“They should hold foster carers, etc. accountable as well as professionals.“

“Before a child is removed, why is there no second opinion? In the medical field, there would be a second opinion.“

“Yes, if somebody gives a report, they shouldn’t just take that first person. Let’s try again and have another person’s view and see.“

“The system only views risk in one direction. But what if you do a risk assessment to balance out: what’s the risk of leaving the child with family? But also, what are the risks of removing the child from the family? I’ve never heard that being taken into consideration. And that could be something that could just be added on to forms.“

“I think the solution would be if you make a note of something, you have to write the context around it: that context, the scenario and also understanding when children have extra needs or issues or whatever else.“

“They should see there’s not just one way to be a good parent, or to be a good family. The vast majority of families, despite all the challenges, they’re mostly doing really well and trying really hard.“

“You have to see people for the people they are, not the situation they’re in, and also treat each child as an individual and see them for who they are.“

“Yes, give that context, the scenario and also understand when children have extra needs or have issues or whatever else. “

In reports, “there was never that context put of traumatic situations that already happened to teens. It’s just very much: ‘Bad behaviour. End of story.’ When instead, they could write: ‘She’s going to have attachment issues and trauma, because of X Y Z.’“

Changing the role of social services

“The system is letting people down.“

“You have so many different disjointed services that you’ve got higher risks of people falling through the gaps of those services and more risk for them not communicating. “

“If we do scrap social services, or massively defund social services, there’ll be a hell of a lot of money that we could invest into community organisations, places like ATD Fourth World, places like Teen Advocacy, where young people can actually have a positive experience of talking about difficulties. They can have supportive interventions.“

“What I would love to see change is for social services to go back to their normal role, to ease pressure, to help the family “

Social services should be: “human“; “a caring system with purpose“; “listening to the child instead of ticking boxes“

“A social worker is supposed to ease the pressure of the family, bring hope to the family and find a way. They are also the voice of the family in front of the authority.”

“When you go to have your own children, literally social services are around you like a magnifying glass. It’s like they’re waiting for you to make a mistake. Instead maybe kind of actually support them as a parent, rather than looking for them to fail.“

“Siblings are not responsible for the actions of our parents, but we’re punished, you know? […] If they’re going to take children away, what are the considerations for [siblings] to be a family together as children?“

“When social services get involved, they should ask young people and children who the important people in their life are and then work to support those relationships.“

Social services should: “support the whole family as a unit“; “help parents“; “support families and only remove children as a last resort“; “keep us with our family“.

Making it clear that poverty is not neglect, and offering to support, not separate

“There was a time where my washing machine broke and I approached the social worker. She couldn’t do nothing directly, she had to go to the panel with a case. And this will usually take so much time. In the meantime, you are struggling, because I don’t wash, it’s piling up. I was thinking, what if this social worker was allocated an amount of money to let her sort out prices without having to go through bureaucracy. And I think that also would ease a lot of pressure and limit the damage, just to be able to access a quick fund for basics.“

“There should be more funding for parent advocates, an alternative that works.“

There should have been “enough financial and emotional support so my parents didn’t give up.“

We should “be treated as a human being with rights and have professionals who understand.“

In family law, we should not be “treated as guilty until I prove we are innocent”.

“When a child is taken into foster care, that amount of money, if that money could just have helped before, there would have been changes. Instead of taking the children away, removing them from their nest—it’s like triple damage, because removing them really doesn’t help. “

“When you’ve got a child in care, you should—not necessarily teach them how to parent but almost give them those skills for the basis of being a parent, you know: what’s a healthy relationship, how to look after someone well, how to be caring, or notice signs if someone’s upset or happy. Just preparing them with all those skills that they might have missed out on.“

“Another great solution would be open spaces for honesty—like this is an open space for honesty right now. And there’s no fear of an assessment being done after, or a referral [to social services] being made from what we’ve said. It’s just literally an open space for us to speak. They do this for addiction. You’re allowed to speak about your addiction without being criminalised for it and you’re allowed to seek help. I don’t really see that in the child social care system.“

Empowering children

“Sometimes people do tell children about human rights or try and encourage it, but then they don’t actually act on the human rights. They might be like, ‘We’ve told them about it’. But then what are you doing on top of that to actually make them a real thing? Like so many things, people just talk and talk.“

“We could make spaces so much more accessible for children to advocate for themselves, and then take them seriously and not say, ‘what you’re saying has less value because of your age’.“

Professionals should: “listen to children“; “keep children involved in all their care plans“; “inspire and empower children, and look at them as complete individuals with their individual needs.“

We need: to be given enough time and ways of communicating that I could have said what I needed.“

“Kids have a right to a voice. But actually, you have this whole thing like: ‘[until they’re 16], they don’t have a clue what’s going on in the world and are living a happy fairy life.’ But obviously, children need to be a part of their whole care plan. They need to know every single thing that’s been discussed about them in that room, because it’s their life.“

“Kids, even if they don’t know everything about human rights, they know what they should be in and what their rights are as such.”